The Bent Straits of Gibraltar
Bit of poem background required on this one. You need to go 1250 years forward in time to a warm rocky peninsular on the southern tip of Spain Just north of the Africa coast, where attitudes differ somewhat from today………..
At seventeen I view these seas
And craggy short arsed land
Through the eyes that I believe
Are those of a full grown man
But then a recollection tickles me; like a pin deflates my pride filled chest
As I think of tonight’s nerve racking gathering
And all those quizzical expectant guests
That evening under dappled disco-ball light
My relatives clasp their sausage rolls
As cheese and pineapple disappear too rapidly from sight
Swaying bunting tries to transform the same old hall
I too loudly tap my glass and those faces turn and stare
As I prepare to finally purge my soul
A far from manly voice betrays my bravery, to declare,
Huhkkkkkkukhuuu ummmm, “I’m coming out, I’m heterosexual”
Everyone seems happy except dear gay auntie Mable
Who’s staring, in disappointment, at something on her table
Uncle Pete heartily pats my back, as though my race is won
Whispering me a shared confidence “We always knew you were son”
Next day I take my newly declared sexuality, for a walk on down the shops
Strutting my stuff in some baggy cords and a bland brown retro top
I feel it shining from my eyes and pouring from my pores
I’m sure all can see my lack of shyness
As they look up from their stumbles and cracks of doors
To delight in my straight as a dieness
It’s true that on my isolated isle our history is queer
So subtly our local ways have changed from year to year
But I’m not wrong, I’ve shown I’m strong,
displayed my feathers and think them splendid
I’m a peacock now and don’t care why or how
My sexuality leaves you feeling offended
Hey, I’m seventeen and in a scene where obvious catches tail
Been told where to go where I can show my machismo in full sail
The moon is swallowed by a cloud
As I roam far from the usual crowd
There it is
A secret brand
On the side of dingy pub
From deep inside I hear a band
Sounds like a deep sea gig inside a sub
I stroll past the sign that tells me its fine to tempt females towards my sack
The sweetest graffiti I’ve ever seen, the emblem of the builders bum crack
All sights are new
Inside this secret whale
Of a club I never noticed before
At the bar they refuse me a cocktail
It’s pints of amber nectar or I’m out the door
It’s not long after consumption that I’m swimming to the unisex loos
And there in lies an experience that I’ll never lose and forever choose
I wander to the urinal and take my cock out for its chore
When behind me I hear the typewriter clicks of stilettos on the floor
I can not look I can not piss I’m just staring at the wall
The silence is painful as I listen for the next footsteps fall
Then those heels swivel from the cubical
And I turn and face this foe
That beautiful vision fails to meet my eyes
She’s surveying down below
Slowly her head moves upwards and with a look that doesn’t shirk
“My god that thing is gorgeous” she says “now tell me does it work”
At seventeen and one day old
I watch the morning mist recede
Across this rocky landscape
And back home to murky seas
Then a recollection tickles me and fills my chest with pride
I think of how last night’s temptations came searching
And I no longer had to hide.
